Paint it Black
by pearlydewdrop
Summary: Queenie Goldstein shed the girly layers of perfectly tailored roses and pinks years ago, and replaced them with glamorous frocks and cloaks in various blacks, crimsons and jades. She caught sight of herself in the full sized gold rimmed mirror, that bubbly girl who had served coffee and unjinxed chamber pots at MACUSA was long gone.


**Paint it Black. **

Her strawberry blonde hair didn't fall into the same bouncy curls that it once did but instead was pulled back into a sleek and shiny bun at the nape of her neck.

Somehow the new do made her appear more intimidating and severe than she had looked in her whole life, especially when paired with the sterner, more haunted, looked in her eyes...a reminder of the once unthinkable crimes that she had committed since joining Grindelwald in Paris.

It had all been for the greater good.

Queenie Goldstein shed the girly layers of perfectly tailored roses and pinks years ago, and replaced them with glamorous frocks and cloaks in various blacks, crimsons and jades, making her look like some strong, confident creature born of the darkness.

Unrecognisable.

She caught sight of herself in the full sized gold rimmed mirror, that bubbly girl who had served coffee and unjinxed chamber pots at MACUSA was long gone.

That trusting naïve girl was lost forever the day that her love choose not to walk with her, that wonderful baker who Queenie had gone through hell for.

...and still would.

Right along with him she had also lost Tina, her sister who had once known her better than anyone. For so long it had just been the two of them against the world, right up until Tina ceased to understand her.

Now her sister had a happy life, Queenie had seen the wedding announcements in the newspapers. Tina had Newt now, she didn't need her anymore.

And Queen didn't need her either.

Both Jacob and Tina thought she was crazy, neither of them had to say it aloud. She'd heard it.

There wasn't any point staying with either of them any longer, not when they were so unwilling to do what was needed to be done for everyone to be equal, for everyone to be free.

She wanted to love and to be loved in return. Was that truly a crime? She want her love for Jacob to be something that could live and breath beyond the restricting confines placed upon her by American wizarding society.

It wasn't something Tina had to worry about when she had married Newt, so why should she, Queenie, be burdened by those fears and worries and prejudices by pursuing her relationship with Jacob.

Queenie Goldstein wanted nothing more than to break free of those chains, to throw her head back and laugh as each link snapped from around the wrists of both her and her beloved baker.

She believed that he was worth it, that their love was worthy of any sacrifice.

Was it too much to ask for? Mr Grindelwald surely didn't think so...

It was the reason that she had followed him into those blue flames that day in Paris. It was the reason why she still continued to follow him...even after she was forced to leave parts of her that had, at one point in her life, been integral to her very being behind.

Queen continued down the cobblestones pathway, the raucous but enticing sounds and smells of Diagon Alley assaulting her senses.

Without even a glance, she passed Flourish and Blotts. Queenie knew that the signing of the second edition of Newt's book would be commencing in a few short hours...but she wouldn't be attending, not a chance.

Queenie had never been this close to her sister in years, but despite this knowledge she felt no inclination to see the elder Goldstein (now Scamander).

Tina wouldn't understand her anymore, Queenie knew it and had accepted it.

So she continued down Diagon Alley, finally coming face to face with what she had come for.

_Kowalski Bakery London, established 1930. _

Despite his earnest promises and loving declarations, Jacob had gotten on with his life without her...a life he now had in London, a thousand miles across the sea from where they had first met.

The Bakery that now stood before her was tangible proof of that. Proof that she could see, smell, near and taste.

The thought of it made her heart ache, and her stomach hurt...God, she had made so many people hurt in the years she had spent away from Jacob.

But never could she make him hurt in any way, she couldn't. She wouldn't.

The window display was filled with yeasty loaves shaped like creature such as Nifflers, Demiguises and about a dozen others Queenie was no longer able to name but was sure her brother-in-law could, and her sister probably too by now.

The air, even from across the street, was laced in cinnamon and brown sugar, infused by maple syrup and toffee. She was surrounded and enveloped by smells that took her back to a better time, back to when she had first visited Jacob in his bakery in New York City.

Queenie caught sight of her beloved baker through the fogged up windows pane.

Fours years, had it really been that long.

He looked much the same, round and jolly and brimming to the top with love and good humour...she used to be just like that.

For an instant, Queenie saw the laughter in his eyes as he playfully battered with some customer or other...she could still remember exactly what his laugher sounded like.

The exact pitch, the exact tone. Those were the thoughts that she returned to whenever she needed to feel warm again.

On the days she was surrounded by death and fear, all in the name of love.

Just then, Jacob looked up. His eyes seemed to fix upon something at the opposite side of the street.

He seemed confused, afraid, angry.

Could he be looking at her?

Startled and ashamed by the weakness that had brought her to his Bakery all over again, Queenie disapparated in to the darkness. Seeing nothing but black and feeling nothing but pain...

...feeling as though she had lost Jacob all over again.


End file.
